Hey all,

I don't post much, but I lurk with the best of them. Before I go any further, I just want to give BIG PROPS to Time and KalAMP and company for finally giving me a place for my hobby that I felt comfortable contributing to. I've been mongering alone in the wilderness for years. It feels good to have a home - Let the flames begin now...

OK. If one reads my reviews, you must know that I can't help but note - with pithy attempts at humor - the odd thing or three. My jaundiced eye can't help but catalog the strange. I'm helpless to prevent my nature. These observations have occurred repeatedly to the point where I feel compelled to share some of them.

So, is it just me or is there some amazing new strain of athletes foot that I'm tracking out of these massage shops? I tend to shower before a session and while, I am diligent about drying my tootsies afterwards, I'm getting some serious commercial-grade flaming toe action a few days later. I'm certain that AMPs are the source of my affliction as my gym- going days are behind me and I can vouch for the operating room sterility of my home shower. In addition, this fungus laughs - audibly - at the standard over the counter creams and powders I have tried. Perhaps foot soldiers know the pain of which I speak, but this stuff is pure evil. It is only a combination of some New Age and back country cures that has seen this stuff is even held in check. ( And may I put a quick prayer out there that this be the only bug I bring home that I can't make go away...can I have an AMEN? ) I'm just curious if anyone else suffers as I do and if they have any fixes.

Also, is it just me or am I the only one who notices that we're our own worst enemy? Specifically when entering and exiting a shop. Too often I see a guy outside a parlor looking and acting like he's doing something illegal: Eyes darting left and right, hesitating, nervous, loitering, sun glasses and hats, etc, etc. Two words of advice folks: OWN IT.

There are three kinds of people looking at you when you roll up to these places:
1. Those that think "That guy's going into a whore house."

2. Those that think "I think that guy's going into a whore house." and

3. Those that think "Why is that guy acting all funny? OH! He's going into that massage place. It MUST be a whore house!"

There's a fourth kind of person: Folks that barely notice you as they drive/walk by because they're late picking up their kids or catching the bus and wouldn't give you a half-second's notice if you weren't acting like a bank robber.

So please, for all of our sake: CHILL. A regular guy doing regular stuff isn't as likely to get the neighboring businesses all in a tuffle OR draw the attention of their kid's soccer coach as they drive by.

That's all I've got for now. Be careful out there.

Yo, Dude! If you've got fungyfungyfootsie, stay the hell outta our damn AMP showers!

Haven't had that, but seems like you need a quick visit into your primary care physician to get a nuclear level toxicity of cream/ointment to get that stuff fixed up but quick! When I was headed into medicine and taking some pretty interesting courses, one of my fave was medical mycology dealing with medically significant fungi. That stuff will NOT go away on its own and if you're not getting results via OTC remedies, skip the homeopathic Ouija-board-style eye-of-Newt-powder hooey and go full-tilt-boogie for the real-deal concept of modern medicine! Untreated it CAN get worse and my university professor reported to the class that she'd once even been hospitalized for it - so, please don't mess around with it!

The point about being a scaredy-cat walking into an AMP is well-taken, thanks for saying that! For guys who report here and elsewhere that they can't even relax enough to let the lady who is intent upon delivering the HE actually get them to pop, I think any harangue about squaring your shoulders, puffing out your chest and marching in with a grin and head held high is lost on them. I've never not even once had any experience of anyone ever even making a comment to me as I went into or left an AMP and I've been into a few, I will admit... In time, they might stop skulking about, but I ain't holding my breath, Homey!

Final thought - keep posting the fun reviews, thank you! Levity and enjoying the experience and swapping stories of tomfoolery and whatnot here add to the whole festivities, IMHO!
ROCK ON!

I agree with Time....

I have always enjoyed your reviews - all 4 of them - your a good writer and reviewer - and quite funny..... but do us all a favor and take a few weeks off and get that crap taken care of..... and dont be bringing it around our hobbygrounds.

We will all thank you for that!

Oh.... by the way.....

I walk in thes joints like I own the place... i was shy about it at first... looking to park in the back... slip in the back door.... sunglasses and hats....

i still wear sunglasses... cuz... ya know... its BRIGHT!!



But I park in front - hold my head up high and march right in... I think its usually the case that even those folks you think are paying attention... most likely aren't anyway.... the women that do see you are probably curious - and the men are jealous!!!...

And I always make sure Im smiling ear to ear when I come out!!

Hahahaha

I may see why some guys act fishy if they were married. As for me, I have no shame. I know why I'm there. Those that know what that place is and see me walking in there knows why I'm there. No point in hiding your identity.

If it helps, pretend you're Caesar. I came, I saw, I conquered. Or is that I saw, I conquered, I came.

I must admit that I may have played up the severity and frequency of my infestation for the sake of a good story. Have no fear that I would not subject my fellows to the horror I described and only stepped into a shop with a fair certainty that I wasn't bringing anything in with me.

just as long as it stays off the pecker. i am like grabby, I go in like I live there. Mmmm , come to think of it, some places I have almost lived there. I'm not married, my girl friend doesn't live in Sactown , and I am a shameess whoremonger.